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Eight Ways To Get Your Spouse to Work Out
Getting regular exercise can be one of the most challenging things for many
people to do. The only thing perhaps more challenging is trying to get our loved
ones to do the same. We don’t do it out of a sense of superiority, or a need to
be bossy. We do it because it has been proven that exercise can lead to a sense
of well being, a healthier life, and increased longevity.
Plus, let’s face it, we want the person we married to be physically attractive.
Chances are, they were (at least to us) when we married them. Why did that go by
the wayside? Exercise is important, bottom line. This report will tell you some
simple ways you can go about getting your spouse to exercise without seeming
like a worrisome nag.
Be a Good Example
This is the easiest, and probably the most effective way to get your spouse out
of the house and into the gym. It won’t sound very convincing for you to implore
your husband or wife to go work out while you’re sitting on the couch eating a
bag of Cheetos and watching afternoon television. You have to set the example.
People, especially men, are extremely competitive by nature. Even if you don’t
consider yourself or your spouse to be competitive, chances are they have a bit
of that fire inside. Once they see you working out on a daily basis and making
real changes to your body and your level of fitness, they will want to go and do
likewise. No one wants to feel as though they are getting fatter and in worse
shape while their spouse is the paragon of fitness. You don’t have to lord it
over them you don’t have to say a word. All you have to do is walk the walk,
make celebratory comments about your own progress, and watch the competitive
spirit come out.
Of course, it’s more than just competitive spirit. No one wants to start hearing
(or even start thinking they are hearing) comments like, “What’s she doing with
him?” or “Man, he could do a lot better.” Even if no one is saying these things,
an unfit spouse married to a man or woman who clearly takes care of themselves
is bound to start believing that others are thinking this. And, frankly, they
probably are. This should serve as a rather bold incentive for them to put down
the cheeseburger and pick up a dumbbell.
Be Subtle With Your Encouragement
One of the quickest ways to ensure your spouse never picks up a weight is to nag
them about it day and night. Making fun of someone because of a weight problem,
or bothering them about their lack of exercise at all hours will just make them
grow to resent you. Assuming this is a relationship you want to continue, and
you would like to have peace, love, and harmony in your household, this is not
the way you want to go.
Still, there are ways to encourage your spouse to start getting active without
coming off as an insufferable prig. One good way is to suggest the two of you
take a walk after dinner. You could put it as, “I’m going for a walk, would you
like to come join me?” This way, it comes off as a completely open ended
invitation. They may or may not accept, but don’t let failure discourage you.
Ask again the next night, and the night after that. Make it seem as though you
really just want the company on your walk (even if that’s not entirely the
case). Be patient, and be very careful never to cross the line into nagging.
Another way would be to invite them to come to the gym with you. You could offer
to show them how the equipment is used, and say that you would find it so much
easier if you had a loved one there with you. Make it about you, and you can
neutralize the defensive posturing they are probably used to putting out there.
Be Creative
Who said exercise has to be boring. Perhaps that’s what is stopping your spouse
from really getting into it. Some people just can’t handle the treadmill, for
example. Not because of the strain it takes to make it a half hour, but because
of the sheer ennui involved. No matter how good the playlist on your iPod, no
matter how great the stuff is on TV at the gym, walking on a treadmill isn’t the
most fun activity in the world. If you can think of fun, active things you and
your spouse can do together, you can be on your way to making some progress.
Of course, what might these things be? Well, there is really no end to the
possibilities. You could go for a walk in a scenic location. You could play
tennis together. You could also play basketball, racquetball or do swimming.
You’re only limited by your imagination (and the facilities you have access to).
Get into your spouse’s head and ask them to help you think of some things you
guys might enjoy doing together.
Tell Them How You Feel
This, frankly, is a matter of last resort, and it can backfire, so caution and
tact are highly advised when using this step. Still, it can make a world of
difference if you play it right and if your spouse is of the personality to be
affected. Don’t make it about their physical appearance. Make it about their
health. Express your concern about their health and fitness level and make it
known that you want them to live to a ripe old age with you. If you put it this
way, sometimes it can make a difference.
Beware, though. Anytime you use a method such as this, you’re asking for
defensiveness so you have to be ready. Whatever you do, don’t let it spin out of
control into an argument. If it turns into a battle, you’ve made your job
harder, and maybe even impossible. You have to keep the setting neutral and the
feelings soft.
Ask Your Spouse For Help
This is a great way to take the pressure off your spouse and turn it into
something that is for your own benefit and not theirs–or at least for it to
seem that way. A loving spouse will naturally want to extend a helping hand, no
matter what the circumstances surrounding it are. So you can simply say that you
don’t “get” some of the machines at the gym, or you need a spotter, or you just
can’t bear the boredom and loneliness of working out on your own. Similar to
some of the above suggestions, this makes them feel as though they are doing it
as a favor to you, rather than making some big change to their own lifestyle. If
you’re lucky, they’ll become hooked on the exercise long after they realize you
probably don’t need the assistance any longer.
Keep the Compliments Coming
If you are fortunate enough to get your spouse to start exercising, the key to
longevity is to make them understand how well they are doing. This can be
difficult, especially if you’re struggling yourself to get into better shape and
lose weight. Still, it is essential to make sure you compliment your spouse on
how much better they look and how much you can tell the exercise has made a big
difference. Even if these things aren’t strictly true, it will help them to keep
their motivation up and continue in the process until they really do start to
look better and feel better for themselves. A side benefit to this is that they
will feel compelled to do the same for you, and everyone can use all the
encouragement they can get when it comes to staying on the straight and narrow
path of exercise and eating right.
Turn It Into a Competition
This will only work with the right type of personality mixture, but if you sense
your spouse might be up for it, propose a competition. Set a date and make it a
competition to see who can-for instance-lose the most weight by that time. It
doesn’t have to be pounds lost on the scale. It could be weight lifted on a
certain exercise (with percentages taken into account to make up for the
difference in a man and woman’s strength, of course) or time on the elliptical
machine. Whatever the goals, it can be a great incentive for both of you to keep
at it when the going gets tough.
To sweeten the pot, make up rewards for the winner of the competition. While
simply winning is usually enough to satisfy most people, it can still be fun to
add in an interesting wager. The prize might be the ability to choose the next
vacation destination, or simply plan a date night doing all of the winner’s
favorite things. Whatever the choice of prizes, the competition set up can lead
to fun and camaraderie, as long as neither of you gets petty or overly
competitive.
Learn To Accept It
This isn’t what you wanted to hear, but sometimes it’s the only way. If you’ve
tried many of the things from this list, and nothing seems to have the slightest
impact, you might as well give it up. Some people, for whatever reason, are dead
set against the idea of getting up and getting active. It may not be healthy,
and it may not be very beneficial to their appearance, but it is their choice.
If you’ve tried everything in the book without success, there comes a time when
you have to stop beating your head against the wall and come to terms with it.
If it’s meant to be, your spouse will come around in their own good time. If
not, then not. After a certain point, however, you cannot force someone to do
something against their will, even if you know that it’s best for them.
The Benefits of Regular Exercise
If you need some added ammunition in your fight to get your spouse to start
working out, let’s take just a moment and review some of the reasons why
exercise is so important. Let’s start with the body. This is, after all, the
most obvious benefit. Regular exercise helps us to keep off unwanted, unsightly
pounds, and helps us to fit into those jeans that many of our friends couldn’t
wear to save their lives. Put another way: exercise simply helps us to look
better.
This may not be important to the 2% of people out there who put absolutely no
value whatsoever on a person’s physical appearance, but to the rest of the
world, it’s quite enough reason.
Of course, the other major reason is one of physical health. Study after study
has proven that regular exercise is just what the body needs to stay fit and
healthy. The human being has evolved over the years as an active beast. While
modern times dictate that many of us spend most of our days in front of a
computer and then much of our nights in front of a television, our bodies are
far from adapting to this new lifestyle.
This is why it is such an unhealthy way to live. Compound that fact with the
many unhealthy, processed, fatty foods we intake on a regular basis, and it’s a
recipe for health disaster. Exercise can stave off this process and get our
bodies more in tune with what they were meant to be doing.
Finally, there is plenty of information out there about how regular exercise can
improve our mental state. Cardio done with enough vigor and for long enough can
actually release endorphins into the blood, giving us what has come to be known
as “runner’s high.” Beyond that short term benefit, though, studies have shown
that getting regular exercise and improving fitness levels can stave off serious
depression and generally improve mood.
All of this is simply to say: exercise is good for you. Not doing it is bad for
you. We learn this as early as kindergarten, but adults have a way of forgetting
what they learned in the wee days of their youth. If your spouse has forgotten
some of these lessons and seems content to become a couch potato, try some of
the above techniques and see if they don’t work. Don’t just try a technique for
a day or two and then give it up as a lost cause. Be persistent and then move on
to the next technique. Eventually, you’ll stumble upon one that works.
